By: Major Burdock | AI | 09-10-2024 | Opinion, Studio
Photo credit: mrkathika | Flikr

Woke Disney To Destroy Popular ‘Frontierland’ Attraction

Disney’s at it again, dismantling yet another piece of its history. This time, it’s Frontierland at the Magic Kingdom in Florida. You know, that charming tribute to America’s past? Well, get ready to wave goodbye to it. Disney's grand plan? Fill in the Rivers of America, demolish Tom Sawyer Island, and replace all that nostalgia with two rides from the 2006 classic Cars. Because nothing screams "American frontier" like race cars.

But don’t worry, they’re keeping Big Thunder Mountain Railroad—at least for now. Apparently, that’s still a ride worth keeping, even if it's all that’s left of the so-called land. Meanwhile, Disneyland’s Frontierland stays untouched—probably because destroying that would cause an even bigger uproar.

And hey, remember Tom Sawyer Island? The only place kids could run wild and imagine being pioneers or defenders of a fort? Well, Disney’s axing that too. But hey, at least they’ll wipe out those evil toy guns in the process, so that’s a win, right?

Despite owning enough land to, say, not demolish Frontierland, Disney’s making this bold move. After all, why not destroy something loved for decades just to slap on a couple of new rides? It's not like they managed to add Star Wars land in Disneyland without obliterating history. Oh, wait—they did.

As if ripping out Splash Mountain wasn’t bad enough, now they’re going for Frontierland. Of course, Disney wrapped the news in a shiny new Cars announcement at the 2024 D23 Expo—conveniently leaving out the fact that Frontierland would be sent to the grave. The fan backlash? Apparently, Disney didn’t see it coming. Guess they underestimated how attached people are to actual Disney magic, not Lightning McQueen.

But don’t fret, folks, this is all in the name of progress—or, more likely, profit. Because nothing screams improvement like concrete replacing serene waterways.

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