Ah, yes, the weather map has turned an ominous blue. This could only mean one thing: apocalypse. Because, of course, thunderstorms now warrant horror forecasts and weather maps that look like a bad painting. The Met Office, ever the harbinger of fear, claims that our beloved island is about to be plunged into a soggy dystopia—apparently, some parts of Wales and the Midlands might get wet. Can you even imagine?
A respectable 70mm of rain in a few hours? 80mm in places on Sunday? Surely, it’s time to batten down the hatches, flee inland, and perhaps buy up all the bread and milk. The real disaster, though, seems to be that temperatures might drop to—brace yourselves—19°C. Chilly. Truly.
What’s next? Will the weather gods strike a pact with "Big Climate Fund" to squeeze a few extra pounds out of us for "funding"? Maybe the Environment Agency and Natural Resources Wales will use their flood warnings as part of a master plan to sell off waterproof wellies at inflated prices?
And, of course, Ventusky—another name now synonymous with doom. Their colorful map paints a picture of devastation, when in reality it’s just... rain. But the media wouldn’t be doing their job if they didn’t whip out a few shades of green, yellow, and blue to convince us that Wales is preparing for some kind of epic flood saga.
So, fellow Britons, grab your umbrellas, hide from the "horror," and prepare to shiver in 19°C. Clearly, the world as we know it will soon be washed away—or at least our weekend plans will.
Article Citation:
Bradley Jolly. UK Weather forecast of horror thunder and lightning as storms turn maps blue. The Mirror, September 20, 2024, 22:13, updated 22:19.
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