By: Steve Dellar | 01-18-2018 | News
Photo credit: Dreamstime

Hawaii Fake Missile Alert Caused Spike At Pornhub

In Dan Ariely’s masterful ‘Predictably Irrational’, theories of how people would react in stressful situations are tested on MIT students. In the book, the professor reveals that he would like to know the statistical tendencies in life-threatening situations, but admits that no such tests would ever be allowed. Luckily for him, there was a Hawaii fake missile alert this weekend in which the internet could measure people’s reactions.

One of the most striking consequences of being in the last half an hour of your life, is that many men turned to porn immediately after being informed it was a false alarm.

Pornhub, the number one website for hand jobs said that after the ballistic missile alert went out at around 8.07 am, they noticed a 77 percent drop from the island’s normal traffic at that time. Then again, who watches porn on a Saturday morning?

This is explained through the simple fact that telecom operators noticed a six-fold number of calls going to the continental US from the island at that time, probably to inform family and loved ones.

However, and this is where it becomes interesting, when the follow-up message came from the Hawaiian government informing its citizens and tourists that all was okay now and the missile attack was a false alarm, the resounding inflation in Pornhub viewing was quite the statistic.

Immediately after, by 8.50 am, traffic went back to normal and by 9.01 am there was in fact a 50% increase in normal viewing.

Two conclusions from this data.

Firstly, in order to relax after all that stress, many men turned to Pornhub for beating off after such a scare, which seems normal.

Secondly, if the drop in Pornhub viewing was 77% during the missile alert, then who are the 23% of viewers who said to themselves: ‘If I’m gonna die, then I better watch one last time…’


Share this article
Thoughts on the above story? Comment below!
3 Comment/s
Anonymous No. 16395 2018-01-18 : 11:00

holy hell!

Anonymous No. 16405 2018-01-18 : 14:11


Anonymous No. 16423 2018-01-18 : 20:08

The 23percent probably didn’t know what was going on

What do you think about this article?
Comment *

Recent News

Popular Stories