By: Red Pill | 06-30-2017 | News
Photo credit: Sergey Dorsov |

NASA Says ‘There Are No Child Sex Slaves On Mars’

Did you ever think you'd hear an official government agency announce such an outlandish statement?

That's what happened when NASA was forced to announce that ‘there are no child sex slaves on Mars’ this week after a satirical conspiracy was aired on the Alex Jones Show via InfoWars suggesting that NASA was conducting a human trafficking network on the red planet.

Humans believe a lot of insane things, often times conspiratorial. However, the implications NASA is covertly sending children to be sex slaves on Mars is probably the best conspiracy of the week.

Yesterday, a guest on InfoWars claimed NASA has been kidnapping kids and sent them to the red planet to be sex slaves.

“There are no humans on Mars. There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t.” Guy Webster, a spokesperson for NASA’s Mars exploration, was said publicly “But there are no humans.”

The Alex Jones Show is broadcast on 118 radio stations across the country and one of the most popular platforms for satirical conspiracies. Jones is entertaining and he often covers legitimate news as well but the mainstream media tends to use the satire to slander him.

Alex Jones spoke with Robert David Steele on his show, who said that the kidnapped children were sent to Mars after a 20-year long journey through space.

Steele said, “We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride. So that once they get to Mars, they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony.”

After twenty long years of space travel, it technically means the hypothetical children now grown once they arrive. The fact that the media and myself get to write about this makes me smile. The child slave colony is obvious satire, and I am greatly amused that NASA even bothered to respond to the claim.

Alex Jones on his show said that he “knows most NASA missions are secret and that NASA engineers have personally told him of the unbelievable things going on” in a very entertaining segment.

While the truth may still be out there, and I applaud Alex Jones for his entertainment value, we as humans have not yet reached Mars.


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10 Comment/s
Anonymous No. 4547 2017-06-30 : 22:48

I think this just about confirms the Nazi moonbase defending against pedoshits in space.

Anonymous No. 4556 2017-07-01 : 00:15

Alex Jones said that he “NASA missions are secret and that NASA engineers have personally told him of the unbelievable things going on”

mmmm, because telling him unbelievable secrets is NASA protocol… mmm

Anonymous No. 4562 2017-07-01 : 00:51

but Nazis are pedos

Anonymous No. 4566 2017-07-01 : 02:18

"Sex slaves on Uranus " would go over bigly in san fran

Anonymous No. 4569 2017-07-01 : 02:37

no dems or muslims there..yet

Scott No. 4576 2017-07-01 : 04:31

Arnold would beg to differ. He was there, ya know!

Expendable_ Henchman No. 4577 2017-07-01 : 04:36

That's just what THEY want us to think. Who do you think launched the toddlers on stealth rockets, smartass?

Anonymous No. 4580 2017-07-01 : 05:39

Boring! Why the hell would I go to Mars, then?

redfoot No. 4582 2017-07-01 : 06:22

Alex Jones is NOT his real name.

AJ's real name is BILL HICKS. He a STRATFOR agent, controlled opposition shill, 100%.

nasahoax No. 4602 2017-07-02 : 01:38

hate to break it to yall: there is no mars.

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