By: Philip | 02-08-2019 | Opinion
Photo credit: Dennizn |

Peckers And Pecker: Bezos' Personal Security Breach And What It Could Mean For National Security

Well, Jeff Bezos is trending at Twitter right now, or again rather. Bezos alleges that he is being extorted and blackmailed by AMI, the parent company of the National Enquirer which is fronted by David Pecker. Hence the title of his Medium post, "No thank you, Mr. Pecker." And yes, I realize it's ironic especially considering the whole story itself centers not so much around David Pecker but Bezos' pecker.

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If you don't recall, Jeff Bezos is in the midst of what is looking to be possibly the most expensive divorce in human history, and it all originates from some, errr, shall we say graphic pictures of a part of Bezos' anatomy. Either that or a blurry shot of his face that was mistaken for something, but having not seen the pictures (thank God) I can't weigh in on that potentiality. All in all, it's been pretty rough for the richest man in the world, as a friend of mine, Evan Johnson put it "He’s getting screwed by his wife in the divorce and dicked around by Pecker."

An interesting side note to the whole thing, of course, is how folks who were cheering on the potential breach of contract and blackmail by Stormy Daniels are suddenly worried about extortion.

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Now, I don't count Jacob Wohl as much of a valid source for information generally, but I must admit he made a pretty decent point related to this whole "Peckers and peckers" case.

"If Jeff Bezos can't secure his d*ck picks [sic], then why is the CIA paying him $600M to store our nation's secrets?"

Because, see, the thing about all this is it's far bigger than pictures of penises being sent digitally. Bezos signed a $600 million dollar contract with the CIA to allow the 17 intelligence agencies that make up our security state to use Amazon Web Services. Ignoring the fact, for a moment at least, that this completely compromises Bezos's Washington Post (or the "Langley Post" as some detractors have deemed it since the deal was made) one has to question just how safe cloud services can be if purchased from a guy who can't even keep his own personal security from being compromised.

Long before this scandal went public, The Atlantic pointed out how bizarre it was for the CIA to want all our national security and intelligence to be on the cloud:

For the risk-averse intelligence community, the decision to go with a commercial cloud vendor is a radical departure from business as usual.

What's next? Using NFC ("bump" protocol) for our nuclear arsenal? Maybe we should stick to a Bluetooth-only policy for all top secret and above secured communications. I mean, what could possibly go wrong. Apart from everything that is...

As of now, Amazon's Cloud has not been hacked, but two companies using it so far have been though Amazon Web Services made a statement to Softonic claiming the issue was due to poor password protection policy.

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Threatstack tackled several of the top issues facing AWS cloud users last July. As they point out, "attackers are attracted to the cloud" in the first place. CodeSpaces was obliterated literally overnight when attackers compromised their entire AWS account. Timehop lost control of their administrative credentials leading to a massive breach of customer information. Imagine that "customer" was one of the agencies responsible for protecting US national security. As we covered last November, an Amazon "technical error" resulted in personal information including names and emails being disclosed.

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Now, why is Pecker after Bezos? According to the Langley Post's headman, it all has to do with an "investigation" into Pecker's Trump and Saudi ties.

First off, let me just say, I'm as concerned with Trump's Saudi ties as the next sentient, but that doesn't make the CIA having a large interest in one of the Most Respected Papers In America™ any less worrisome.

The CIA, of course, has developed a tight connection to the US news and multimedia over the past 60+ years. Former WaPo reporter Carl Bernstein once uncovered the cozy relationship many reporters and publishers had with "The Company." That said, at this point, having the CIA infiltrate the supposedly "free" press and use it as a megaphone is "the devil you know" compared to the hell that could break loose if AWS fails as hard as Bezos' attempt at not getting literally caught with his pants down.

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1 Comment/s
Anonymous No. 93786 2019-02-08 : 16:53

Jonhumanity transvestigation proved (((Jeff Bezos))) has no penis and is a female transgender!!!! Open your eyes!!!!

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